Is there anything more awkward than celebrating your birthday at work? You’re ushered into the boardroom in front of a huge candle-lit cake and your whole office sings the worst rendition of happy birthday that you’ve ever heard in your life. And then there’s the HR-approved discussion skirting around how old you are now (unless you’re my politically incorrect boss, who will wonder out loud why you don’t have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancé/ husband/ wife/ baby/ mistress). I’ve also observed during my working career that the accounts department always mimes the singing but they eat the most cake.
If You’re Crazy You’ll Make Yourself Two Birthday Cakes Including This Amazing Lemon Mascarpone Layer Cake
When People Say They Ate Their Weight In Cake, They Probably Just Ate One Of These Vanilla Glazed Lemon Pound Cakes
I wish I were more mature than to snigger at the word pound, but unfortunately I am not. Sorry. While we’re here, I also confess to laughing at pictures of suggestive looking vegetables on the internet and could barely contain myself when I recently passed by the Batter Fluffy Flaps pancake shop in Singapore.
It’s Not Often That A Cake Is Described As Refreshing But This Divine Lemon Cake With Lemon Icing Really Is
We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, but I cannot wait for Thanksgiving to be over already. All of my favourite recipe websites are giving me too much pumpkin. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin cake. Pumpkin mousse. Pumpkin cheesecake. Pumpkin cookies. Pumpkin spice lattes. Congratulations America on successfully holiday-theming a vegetable. It makes me extremely nervous because Christmas is coming next and that means an onslaught of peppermint-flavoured everything. Whoever decided that Christmas should taste of peppermint is an asshole because obviously only toothpaste and chewing gum should taste like peppermint. And certainly not actual food that you swallow.
There are many things in life that I don’t understand. Why blueberries are so freaking expensive. Why we had to learn how to play Hot Cross Buns on the recorder. Why the rules of the cricket are so absurd. Actually I just googled cricket to see if I could understand it any better but accidentally fell into a coma. Pippa Middleton pretty much sums up my understanding of the game – “A batsman goes out and is then in until he gets out. This goes on until the last batsman is out, apart from one who is still in and therefore not out.” I hate the cricket. Anyway moving on. Why French women don’t get fat. Why anyone bothers to watch Masterchef Australia anymore. Why someone would give Whoopie Pies such a ridiculous name.