Is there anything more awkward than celebrating your birthday at work? You’re ushered into the boardroom in front of a huge candle-lit cake and your whole office sings the worst rendition of happy birthday that you’ve ever heard in your life. And then there’s the HR-approved discussion skirting around how old you are now (unless you’re my politically incorrect boss, who will wonder out loud why you don’t have a boyfriend/ girlfriend/ fiancé/ husband/ wife/ baby/ mistress). I’ve also observed during my working career that the accounts department always mimes the singing but they eat the most cake.
If You’re Crazy You’ll Make Yourself Two Birthday Cakes Including This Amazing Lemon Mascarpone Layer Cake
This Amazing Watermelon & Strawberry Cake Will Make You Wonder Why Watermelon Isn’t A Main Ingredient In More Cakes
This is where I’m meant to write a flowery description about it being summer and craving something lighter and watermelon is the perfect refreshing thing to serve during this weather etc. etc. but the truth is that watermelon is the shit and I will eat it no matter what season it is. Never limit yourselves, people.
Chocolate Roulade with Milk Chocolate Ganache Sounds Much Classier Than Huge Fat Log Of Cream Filled Chocolate Cake
Have you ever tried to transport a delicate home-made cake by plane from Sydney to Melbourne? It’s a pain in the ass and filled with many moments of terror, such as when the airport guy suddenly decides to turn your cake box sideways as it goes through the x-ray machine. It was much easier in the old days when I’d just buy 2 dozen virtually indestructible Krispy Kreme donuts to take to Melbourne (back when only Sydney had Krispy Kremes). Although I haven’t had one in years, I could really go for some original glazed Krispy Kremes right now. Damn me and my food memories.
When People Say They Ate Their Weight In Cake, They Probably Just Ate One Of These Vanilla Glazed Lemon Pound Cakes
I wish I were more mature than to snigger at the word pound, but unfortunately I am not. Sorry. While we’re here, I also confess to laughing at pictures of suggestive looking vegetables on the internet and could barely contain myself when I recently passed by the Batter Fluffy Flaps pancake shop in Singapore.
I love how food inspiration appears from all kinds of wondrous places. Mostly from the obvious food magazines, baking websites and tv chefs, but sometimes it’s from random people waiting behind me in the checkout at supermarkets who give me unsolicited advice on cooking asparagus or baking sponge cakes. Does this happen to everyone or just me? This recipe I found glued inside a cake tin at Coles. It sounded so delicious that I ended up buying the cake tin especially for the recipe. I could have just taken a picture of the recipe and saved myself 15 bucks. Idiot.
These Salted Candied Popcorn & Caramel Parfait Sandwiches Are Basically All Your Movie Snacks Combined Into One
I don’t enjoy sandwiches. They give me unwanted flashbacks of dehydrated sandwiches served during work meetings. And also they remind me of work so that’s another good reason for my aversion to them.
This Innocent Looking Flourless White Chocolate Cake with White Chocolate & Raspberry Ganache Is About To Seduce You
I’d love to be the kind of person that enjoys going for a run, but my running style looks like that weird fake joggy-run that people do when a car is waiting for them to cross the street. I prefer incidental exercise ie. the exercise that happens accidentally because I’m carrying too many shopping bags while walking up the hill to my house. I also work up a sweat every day when I’m frantically searching for something to wear from my wardrobe but that probably doesn’t count as exercise. This is rather annoying because otherwise I’d be really fit.
It’s Not Often That A Cake Is Described As Refreshing But This Divine Lemon Cake With Lemon Icing Really Is
We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here in Australia, but I cannot wait for Thanksgiving to be over already. All of my favourite recipe websites are giving me too much pumpkin. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin cake. Pumpkin mousse. Pumpkin cheesecake. Pumpkin cookies. Pumpkin spice lattes. Congratulations America on successfully holiday-theming a vegetable. It makes me extremely nervous because Christmas is coming next and that means an onslaught of peppermint-flavoured everything. Whoever decided that Christmas should taste of peppermint is an asshole because obviously only toothpaste and chewing gum should taste like peppermint. And certainly not actual food that you swallow.
Parfait Makes The Word Liver Sound Much More Appetising in This Truly Luscious Chicken Liver Parfait
No one really likes to think about liver and where it comes from or what it does. And much like politics or Scientology or Kim Kardashian, people have a fairly strong opinion of it one way or the other. However, when transformed into a smooth parfait (in case you didn’t know, a pâté is a more coarse, textured version), you don’t even think about the fact that it’s made of liver. You just wish it weren’t a shared entree and you hope no one will notice if you eat the entire thing.
Pitting Cherries Is A Total Bitch Without The Right Gadget But This Chocolate & Cherry Clafoutis Will Be Worth The Frustration
There are two things that scare me. The first is clowns because they’re fucking creepy, especially when one tries to hit on you and then follows you around and you can see the psycho lurking in your peripheral vision everywhere you go. The second thing is over-baking cakes. Once you’ve over-baked a cake, you’re kind of screwed. The worst is when you have no choice but to serve it up and pretend your cake was meant to have the taste and texture of styrofoam. Everyone eats in awkward silence and all you can hear is the chinking of cake forks on plates and you can see the effort of their chewing and forcing themselves to swallow, like….uh…well I guess it’s similar to when you’re forcing yourself to swallow anything. And the reason for silence is because they literally can’t speak due to the lumps of dry cake stuck in their throats. Sometimes not even a thick layer of frosting or ice-cream can save it. The worst, I tell you. Even worse than stalker clowns.